The sun will rise...

It's 6:47am and another sleepless night. I find myself sleeping less and less, thus getting less and less accomplished. I wrote out my goals for the next upcoming months and have found myself staring at number 6 from my bed post... Get OUT OF THIS ROOM! As far as I can tell I'm accomplishing that goal =D... The bed is a comfort zone for me. It means I don't have to face the world and it's harsh hand telling me who I am and what I'm supposed to be. Don't get me wrong, I want to know. But don't get me right, I'd rather wait it out...

And so I find myself at a crossroads of some sort. In one hand, a life set in stone on a path that so many are taking (and yet none). In the other, a path that seems less traveled (and yet all are taking). Damn Shakespeare for the simple question.

So here I sit, now 6:54am, making a list and checking it twice. But damn I love music...

Meandering Thoughts...

My though process hasn't dumbed down in forever. I feel the need to get away and write everything out. Write a book of songs and then toss them off the Golden Gate bridge because I'll realize that they'll add up to nothing more than unsaid words. Words of lamentation for lost days and stolen moments. Words on paper never add up to what you really wish to say.

I cleaned my room the other day and realized how high the pile had gotten in my closet. It is the analogy to my thoughts... I don't know when and or if the closet will ever get cleaned out and am afraid that this Friday might test the time I've spent piling up that closet. I might find myself tearing it down and burning it, or searching through it and realizing that it all amounts to nothing in the end. Whatever the case might be, the question hangs in the bowls. Am I ready?

I don't think so...

Winter looms overhead...

I get more nervous as the seasons start to change their mind. They've been where they have for too long and they need a break from the summer. I see the leaves changing colors and the wind starting its sweep of the gutters trash. Trash bags are preparing to get caught up by the wind and make their ascent into the sky.

But my mind's not ready to bundle up in layers and cuddle up near the fireplace. How do you prepare your heart for a hot cup of coffee on a cold winter day in Novemeber? How do you tell your closet to get ready for rainy days?

I want to share this moment with people. The moment we all look at and see the best and worst in things. Winters bring us closer to how we really feel inside and it tears away the fakeness we illuminate as reality takes its place on the throne of another drawn out winter. Maybe this winter will be different... But then again that's wishful thinking to go along with the season.

New Single...

No Explanation needed

The song hits on so many levels that I can't explain in words the emotions that come with it. I can't explain the colors of it all... The blues and the greens...

They meet and get wrapped into a ball, only to bring you right back to the end of the string where it all started...

Don't live out every moment in your head, get it out and walk by faith. ALL things work for the good of those who love the Lord... (emphasis intended)

I'm here at a moment of peace in my life. I look at the next set of questions and leave them where they are for another day. I like this moment and time in between the here and there. I need this time to focus on the now and allow the peace to overflow for a night or so. Thank you Lord. Thank you.

This new CD is going to be Epic... I know it... To the maybes, I'm waiting for the voice to tell me who she is. No longer relying on feelings or looks or whatever it is that might hinder my relationship with Him. I'm guarding my heart and saving it for who ever you are... Maybe I've all ready seen you in my heart and in my dreams... But I know this...

I'm praying for you =)

Misery be my guide...

Tonight I don't know why but I want to feel sadness. I want to go hide in my room for days on end because maybe that will make sense some how. I don't know what's wrong but I want to cry... I want to scream at the top of my lungs and say to hell with it all. What is this feeling that is drawing me to sadness. I want there to be something so undeniably sad in my heart that I have to cling to the corners of my small room...

Who am I? What is going on?

This makes no sense to me that I want to cry... So I run to old memories and hope that they'll drag me down off of this coffee... Maybe that's what it is! The coffee... No. It's deeper than a cup of Joe. I'm going to run right now. 1 am, I'm going to run...